Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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