his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
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He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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