If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
