i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
