The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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