Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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