and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
