he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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