she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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