Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
