your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
what the fuck happened to the tacos
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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