She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
