I love black thongs
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
