I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
