Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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