suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
