im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
