i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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