i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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