There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
