i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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