sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
