it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
