Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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