I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
