it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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