you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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