The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.