Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up