there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.