Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
