idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
