It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
