Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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