I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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