You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
