it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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