Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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