The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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