Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
