I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
