**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My balls are so social today.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize