tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
