drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
