He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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