sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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