no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Michael Bay diarrhea
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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