Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
