i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
