What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
