Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
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The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize