I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
