Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
