eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
