hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
