wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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