Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
