The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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