It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
