david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
