Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
