I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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