According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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